5am-8am

Is probably the time when my mind is most clear and i think the best. During those hours, my mind is hugely philosophical and my imagination is definitely in overdrive. One of the things I appreciate about my mind, is that I have no control what stimulates it, or causes it to work so early. I wake up, and its on. LOL. Most of my thoughts, my ideas, and my passions for the day start off here. This morning, I watched a movie called "searching for Bobby Fisher". The film was a delightful piece of work. The themes were loving what you do, practice, patience, and trusting your gut. (just to name a few) I really can't explain how many things I picked up from that film. but I will try to list a couple.

#1. Do what you love.
This has been such a motivating theme in my life. I am actually blessed to have this opportunity. My grandfather, and even my father had to choose what was best due to different circumstances. I on the other hand have the opportunity to place my heart and passion in to what I love. Medicine is a huge part of that. Mostly because I feel called to become a physician, but also because with patience and hard work, I can actually see how much I've not only learned, but have Mastered. That makes me amazingly happy.

#2. Do your best, and don't be a coward.
During the movie, the main character was 7 year old Josh, who was a chess champion. Somewhere he lost his confidence and became a coward. He was number 1 and always won his chess tournaments. But something happened where he became scared to lose a game and therefore scared to lose the approval of his parents. It took him a while, but he finally realized how much winning and losing really meant. It didn't mean much as long as you did your best. So many times in my life, I purposely throw in the towel because I thought I was going to loose. Only to find out that I was actually destined to win. I actually had all that I needed to win. I also learned that those that accept you and don't leave when you are being cowardly, are those that actually love you the most. Amazing.

#3. The role of the pupil is to learn... and focus.
Medicine is my life right now. I completely enjoy it. I go to medical school at Howard, and I used to hate the school. Well, now, the school has actually faded into the background and I really have no comment on the institution except that it has the tools necessary for me to become a fantastic physician. In this period of my life, although I would love to spend the energy on a relationship or something else, God has designed for me to stay focused and learn from him how to heal the human body. Trust.. I've tried over and over and over to include someone in my life on many different occasions and in many different ways. God has not let it be so. I pout and I get angry, then I open my bible, and my books and the information that I struggled with soo much in the past, its like He is teaching me these things himself. WOW! All I have to do is sit, learn and focus. Praise God!!! I can't wait to share what I know. Sharing as in touching a patient's life and healing them.

#4. REST.
The passions that I have take energy. They take a lot of discipline and self-control. They drain me and give me energy at the same time. However, its important to rest and lay it all down. Family has been increasingly important to me these past couple of months. Friends are very nice too, but for some reason my family has taken a serious priority in my life. It is because there I can learn how to be a more loving child, husband, and father all at the same time. ( I'm not interested in dating anymore but more so in courting. That's why I pay extra attention to family life now.) When you rest properly, you are refreshed and ready to embark on a new day with new goals and new perspectives. Josh, stopped playing chess for 2 weeks. He just went fishing with his Dad. Didn't talk about it, didn't even think about it. When he came back, he was fully re-charged and ready to think in a whole new manner. Sometimes we need to let our minds rest. Go back to your roots. Visit with family and friends and don't think about anything that stressed you out. When you come back, you are a totally different person. :)

#5. Confidence
Before I was in medical school, or a future physician, I dreamed about it and thought it in my head. At first I didn't want to be... but God called me to it.. so now me and him are having a blast tackling it. Later in life I will write books, and small screen plays... I see it in my future... so I practice it. And God and I are having a great time showing me lessons, and I do the best I can to write down the themes. Someday soon, I will be with the woman i love... so God and I are having a good 'ol time removing garbage, things, and certain situations out of my life so that I can love her amazingly. What does this have to do with confidence?? Well, confidence comes from preparation. Nobody is confident in anything that they haven't trained for or practiced. When one understands that training is just as exciting as competing, confidence grows and takes its roots in a deep portion of your mind and nothing will be able to up-root it. When you are ready.. you are just ready.

lol.. so much more in my head.... but this will do for now.

5am-8am.