Love this song..
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
How much time are you going to waste?
Hey everyone,
And... no one. I know people dont read this blog, because I don't have any followers on here. smh.
Well, today I wanted write about how I feel. I'm actually heart-broken right now. No details, but i miss someone very very much. The problem is, it was my fault and I pushed her away. That back-fired on me so much its terrible. I can't even express how regretful i am of that decision. problem is. I can't do anything about it. It seems that all i do is think about her all day long. I wish she would open up to me. (good luck with that!) lol
Well,
truth is, I've done that to God so many times it isn't funny. I've been running away from him like the prodigal son. Its terrible. I get in this funky mood, and I really show him the boot. I remember a few instances in my life where God clearly was trying to show me love and i totally messed it up. such a dummy i am.
The beautiful thing about God is that he always forgives and though I have to suffer the consequences, he loves me through it. Its so amazing how he does these things. Like he will never give up on me. I love him for that. I really do. Seeing how i learn things the hard way.. I barely, just barely, understand how he feels when he is pushed away.. cause i feel pushed away right now. sigh.
Another thing that I love about God is that he promises me that he has a plan for my life. That's crazy.. cause even though I push him away.. he STILL has a plan. hm..
That's a dude i can worship. And that's somebody i will give my life for. He loves me inspite of my foolishness and he longs to be with me.
A friend asked me "how much time am I going to waste" and I made a serious effort and took some time to follow my heart. Now I realize the Holy Spirit was told him to tell me that for an additional reason.
Jerrick, God Loves you man, TRUST HIM. "How much time are you going to waste?"
And... no one. I know people dont read this blog, because I don't have any followers on here. smh.
Well, today I wanted write about how I feel. I'm actually heart-broken right now. No details, but i miss someone very very much. The problem is, it was my fault and I pushed her away. That back-fired on me so much its terrible. I can't even express how regretful i am of that decision. problem is. I can't do anything about it. It seems that all i do is think about her all day long. I wish she would open up to me. (good luck with that!) lol
Well,
truth is, I've done that to God so many times it isn't funny. I've been running away from him like the prodigal son. Its terrible. I get in this funky mood, and I really show him the boot. I remember a few instances in my life where God clearly was trying to show me love and i totally messed it up. such a dummy i am.
The beautiful thing about God is that he always forgives and though I have to suffer the consequences, he loves me through it. Its so amazing how he does these things. Like he will never give up on me. I love him for that. I really do. Seeing how i learn things the hard way.. I barely, just barely, understand how he feels when he is pushed away.. cause i feel pushed away right now. sigh.
Another thing that I love about God is that he promises me that he has a plan for my life. That's crazy.. cause even though I push him away.. he STILL has a plan. hm..
That's a dude i can worship. And that's somebody i will give my life for. He loves me inspite of my foolishness and he longs to be with me.
A friend asked me "how much time am I going to waste" and I made a serious effort and took some time to follow my heart. Now I realize the Holy Spirit was told him to tell me that for an additional reason.
Jerrick, God Loves you man, TRUST HIM. "How much time are you going to waste?"
Monday, June 14, 2010
My biggest Fear
I've been in Mississippi for the past year working on my Masters degree. It has been a fantastic experience. I've learned a lot more than I anticipated and I am quite pleased with my performance. I am on my way to medical school, (per my acceptance), and I'm actually taking time to wind down and introspectively look at some of the things in my life. I will say, that God has blessed me and He has always provided whatever I needed. I appreciate that about Him. He knows exactly how to comfort and motivate me to be the best Man I can be. With that he also knows how to discipline me.
Two years ago, I was released from Medical School due to poor academic performance. Interesting enough, I just wrote that sentence and I didn't feel any type of hostility, regret, or shame. Many people don't do well first year of medical school and it is nothing to be ashamed of. This is easier said than done however. I can't tell you the level of embarrassment, resentfulness, or anger that I had within me. I've talked about this before in a post titled Transformers, which I wrote in 2008. It was a terrible experience, but God has His plan.
His Plan is to mold me into the Man I am supposed to be. Period. To be the Christian Man that He can use to bring others to him. Forget about the MD/MS/MPH. God needs somebody to represent him humbly and totally.
My biggest fear is this. Have I learned enough? Have I passed the test? Am I still the same person that I was 2 years ago? Am I doing the same things? Am I ready now?
Unfortunately, I must confess, I don't think I'm ready. I don't think I'm able. I don't think I deserve to go back in to medical school. I don't think I deserve to have such an awesome group of friends, or a wonderful girlfriend. I personally feel like trash most of the time cause, I've tried to do better, yet I'm like Paul.
Check out what he has to say in Roman 7.
Romans 7:14-25 (The Message)
14-16I can anticipate the response that is coming: "I know that all God's commands are spiritual, but I'm not. Isn't this also your experience?" Yes. I'm full of myself—after all, I've spent a long time in sin's prison. What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.
17-20But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.
21-23It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.
24I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?
25The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.
So, to be quite honest, I find myself in this same position. All my life I have basically willed anything that I wanted. Yet, with all my strength I still can't will myself to follow Christ. That's Amazing. Think about it.
#1. Christ has died for our sins. We are essentially sinless if we accept Him.
#2. In exchange for giving us Eternal Life he only asks us to Trust, Obey, and Submit to his will.
#3. Yet, as christians. We know this, We understand this and We want to Do This.
#4. But its impossible. (on our own)
Why?
The answer is this. How would heaven be, if we could really make it there on our own will. We would be one HUGE conceded group! In fact, the first minute we get into the pearly gates, we would probably set up hierarchy for those who decided to accept christ at a young age compared to being an old geezer. We would tally all the times we prayed and went to church and prayer meeting, and sabbath school. We would brag about how many people we brought into the fold.. etc. etc. etc..
Catch my drift?
We do that now. In church if you aren't a deacon, you ask yourself? WHY??!! Brother So and So ain't THAT Holy!? Or if you don't get chosen for praise team, or whatever it is. We start getting on our high horse and complaining and what not.
Simply Put, Christ made a way. He made it Easy. Death and Hell has been conquered. Praise God! Yet, at the same time He made it impossible if we trust in ourselves. We MUST trust God to carry out and mold us into who he needs us to be. We MUST submit in ALL things to be ready to represent him. We MUST OBEY his commandments.
Not for our own accord. But because there is no other way.
That's my biggest fear. Am I ready? Will I keep making the same mistakes? Have I submitted?
If my friend Nathan was alive today, I know what he would say.
Just do it Today. Don't let this day pass without Doing it....... Today.
Two years ago, I was released from Medical School due to poor academic performance. Interesting enough, I just wrote that sentence and I didn't feel any type of hostility, regret, or shame. Many people don't do well first year of medical school and it is nothing to be ashamed of. This is easier said than done however. I can't tell you the level of embarrassment, resentfulness, or anger that I had within me. I've talked about this before in a post titled Transformers, which I wrote in 2008. It was a terrible experience, but God has His plan.
His Plan is to mold me into the Man I am supposed to be. Period. To be the Christian Man that He can use to bring others to him. Forget about the MD/MS/MPH. God needs somebody to represent him humbly and totally.
My biggest fear is this. Have I learned enough? Have I passed the test? Am I still the same person that I was 2 years ago? Am I doing the same things? Am I ready now?
Unfortunately, I must confess, I don't think I'm ready. I don't think I'm able. I don't think I deserve to go back in to medical school. I don't think I deserve to have such an awesome group of friends, or a wonderful girlfriend. I personally feel like trash most of the time cause, I've tried to do better, yet I'm like Paul.
Check out what he has to say in Roman 7.
Romans 7:14-25 (The Message)
14-16I can anticipate the response that is coming: "I know that all God's commands are spiritual, but I'm not. Isn't this also your experience?" Yes. I'm full of myself—after all, I've spent a long time in sin's prison. What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.
17-20But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.
21-23It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.
24I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?
25The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.
So, to be quite honest, I find myself in this same position. All my life I have basically willed anything that I wanted. Yet, with all my strength I still can't will myself to follow Christ. That's Amazing. Think about it.
#1. Christ has died for our sins. We are essentially sinless if we accept Him.
#2. In exchange for giving us Eternal Life he only asks us to Trust, Obey, and Submit to his will.
#3. Yet, as christians. We know this, We understand this and We want to Do This.
#4. But its impossible. (on our own)
Why?
The answer is this. How would heaven be, if we could really make it there on our own will. We would be one HUGE conceded group! In fact, the first minute we get into the pearly gates, we would probably set up hierarchy for those who decided to accept christ at a young age compared to being an old geezer. We would tally all the times we prayed and went to church and prayer meeting, and sabbath school. We would brag about how many people we brought into the fold.. etc. etc. etc..
Catch my drift?
We do that now. In church if you aren't a deacon, you ask yourself? WHY??!! Brother So and So ain't THAT Holy!? Or if you don't get chosen for praise team, or whatever it is. We start getting on our high horse and complaining and what not.
Simply Put, Christ made a way. He made it Easy. Death and Hell has been conquered. Praise God! Yet, at the same time He made it impossible if we trust in ourselves. We MUST trust God to carry out and mold us into who he needs us to be. We MUST submit in ALL things to be ready to represent him. We MUST OBEY his commandments.
Not for our own accord. But because there is no other way.
That's my biggest fear. Am I ready? Will I keep making the same mistakes? Have I submitted?
If my friend Nathan was alive today, I know what he would say.
Just do it Today. Don't let this day pass without Doing it....... Today.
Friday, January 29, 2010
One Long week
This week as has been so long and I'm glad its over. Truthfully, I've been going through some deep stuff and I am glad that God has promised that he will always be there for us. Tonight, on this sabbath I am extremely grateful for what he as done in my life. I can't stop thinking about Haiti and other parts of the world where they NEED to hear some GOOD NEWS. They need some refuge, some peace, some REST. I'm reminded of Mark 4. This is where the Disciples are in terrible peril and Jesus is sleeping in the boat. Its funny, how even when we are close to the Master, we think that He is sleeping and doesn't care. Truth is, he knows, but won't budge till we call out His name. He's that serious about us YEARNING for him.
Lord thank you for your peace, patience, and your Deliverance.
Mark 4:35-41 (New International Version)
Jesus Calms the Storm
35That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side." 36Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. 37A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. 38Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?"
39He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.
40He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"
41They were terrified and asked each other, "Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!"
### WHO DAT!??? ### :)
JW
Lord thank you for your peace, patience, and your Deliverance.
Mark 4:35-41 (New International Version)
Jesus Calms the Storm
35That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side." 36Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. 37A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. 38Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?"
39He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.
40He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"
41They were terrified and asked each other, "Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!"
### WHO DAT!??? ### :)
JW
Monday, January 25, 2010
A Father's Love
Today I received a letter from my Father that touched me so much I cried. And I'm still actually crying because my dad gave me the encouragement that I So needed for so long. Things for me have been so rough for so long I can't even explain how much I hurt inside. He sent me this card pictured below and when I read it, it was exactly what I needed. We actually fought on the phone yesterday and he didn't even mention he had sent the card and money. We were both hurt so I guess we didn't get to it. Today, when i received the card I was speechless and tears flowed from my eyes like they never have before in years. Word can't express how Grateful I am for my Father's love.
Thank you Dad. I love you. You have made things so much better. I so need to rest in somebody's arms. I'm so tired.
Jerrick
Thank you Dad. I love you. You have made things so much better. I so need to rest in somebody's arms. I'm so tired.
Jerrick
Being Honest
Today I wrote a pretty detailed letter to my parents. It seems that they want me to understand that I can talk to them. I already knew that I could talk to them, I just didn't. I wanted to keep things to myself and handle them my way. I'm interested how this will pan out. Its something new. Maybe this will be the beginning of a wonderful open dialogue between parent and child. Maybe they will be scared of how honest i am. Whatever happens, its time for a BRAND NEW DAY!
:)
God bless
:)
God bless
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Letter from a Friend
Morning,
Yesterday in Sabbath School we talked about taking the yoke of Christ upon us and how He will give us rest. I believe there's so much in that concept that we don't understand, but little by little the Lord is allowing us to garner a deeper knowledge from the Bible and through an experience with Him.
The passage talks about things reaching the world's standards, but I extend it to involving ourselves in ministry that seems right (you'll see what I mean below). Even service that is not ordained by God can be a burden and a galling yoke.
There's so much truth in these sentences I praise God for his love toward us to give us this additional wisdom through the Spirit of Prophecy. I also praise God that he does not want us to be under the stresses of the world and kill ourselves trying to reach for something that will pass away.
“Come to me, all who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Place my yoke over your shoulders, and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble. Then you will find rest for yourselves because my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28, 29. GWV.
Your work is not to gather up burdens of your own. As you take the burdens that Christ would have you, then you can realize what burdens he carried. Let us study the Bible, and find out what kind of yoke he bore. He was a help to those around him. He says: "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls." You see there is a yoke to bear. Now this is the very faith that we want,--a faith that will grasp the promises of God, one that will take the yoke of Christ and bear the burdens that he would have us. We often think we are having a hard time in bearing burdens, and it is too often the case, because God has not made any provision for us to carry these burdens; but when we bear his yoke and carry his burdens, we can testify that the yoke of Christ is easy and his burdens are light, because he has made provision for these. But when you feel depressed and discouraged, do not give up the battle; you have a living Saviour that will help you, and you will have rest in him. You must not put your neck under the yoke of fashion, and yokes that God has never designed that you should bear. It is not our work to study how to meet the world's standard, but the great question with each one should be, How can I meet God's standard. Then it is that you will find rest to the soul; for Christ has said, "My yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
When you have a yoke that is galling to the neck, you may know it is not Christ's yoke; for he says his yoke is easy. What God wants of us is to be learning every day of our lives how to build our characters for time and for eternity. He does not want us to get into one channel and never turn out of that; to have fixed ideas, and hold them fast, whether they are right or wrong. He will place us amid trials and difficulties, and when we have learned to overcome obstacles in a right spirit, with high and holy purpose, he will give us another lesson. And if we have not the meekness of Christ to be constantly learning of Jesus in his school, then we must know that we have not the yoke of Christ. {RH, May 10, 1887 par. 14, 15}
Have a witness-filled week.
Stephen
Yesterday in Sabbath School we talked about taking the yoke of Christ upon us and how He will give us rest. I believe there's so much in that concept that we don't understand, but little by little the Lord is allowing us to garner a deeper knowledge from the Bible and through an experience with Him.
The passage talks about things reaching the world's standards, but I extend it to involving ourselves in ministry that seems right (you'll see what I mean below). Even service that is not ordained by God can be a burden and a galling yoke.
There's so much truth in these sentences I praise God for his love toward us to give us this additional wisdom through the Spirit of Prophecy. I also praise God that he does not want us to be under the stresses of the world and kill ourselves trying to reach for something that will pass away.
“Come to me, all who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Place my yoke over your shoulders, and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble. Then you will find rest for yourselves because my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28, 29. GWV.
Your work is not to gather up burdens of your own. As you take the burdens that Christ would have you, then you can realize what burdens he carried. Let us study the Bible, and find out what kind of yoke he bore. He was a help to those around him. He says: "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls." You see there is a yoke to bear. Now this is the very faith that we want,--a faith that will grasp the promises of God, one that will take the yoke of Christ and bear the burdens that he would have us. We often think we are having a hard time in bearing burdens, and it is too often the case, because God has not made any provision for us to carry these burdens; but when we bear his yoke and carry his burdens, we can testify that the yoke of Christ is easy and his burdens are light, because he has made provision for these. But when you feel depressed and discouraged, do not give up the battle; you have a living Saviour that will help you, and you will have rest in him. You must not put your neck under the yoke of fashion, and yokes that God has never designed that you should bear. It is not our work to study how to meet the world's standard, but the great question with each one should be, How can I meet God's standard. Then it is that you will find rest to the soul; for Christ has said, "My yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
When you have a yoke that is galling to the neck, you may know it is not Christ's yoke; for he says his yoke is easy. What God wants of us is to be learning every day of our lives how to build our characters for time and for eternity. He does not want us to get into one channel and never turn out of that; to have fixed ideas, and hold them fast, whether they are right or wrong. He will place us amid trials and difficulties, and when we have learned to overcome obstacles in a right spirit, with high and holy purpose, he will give us another lesson. And if we have not the meekness of Christ to be constantly learning of Jesus in his school, then we must know that we have not the yoke of Christ. {RH, May 10, 1887 par. 14, 15}
Have a witness-filled week.
Stephen
