Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Thank You
I am sitting here and I am overwhelmed with the Love that God has given me over the past couple of months. The other day on my FB page I said that praise should be in direct comparison to the level of difficulty. Well, i'm actually thinking about out praising my trials. And It has WORKED!!! Today, my anatomy professor pulled me aside to tell me about a resent exam. His words stirred up so much praise in my heart I just have to post this to my Blog! God is soo good.. Praise HIM PRAISE HIM PRAISE HIM!!!
:) :)
:) :)
Sunday, November 21, 2010
5am-8am
Is probably the time when my mind is most clear and i think the best. During those hours, my mind is hugely philosophical and my imagination is definitely in overdrive. One of the things I appreciate about my mind, is that I have no control what stimulates it, or causes it to work so early. I wake up, and its on. LOL. Most of my thoughts, my ideas, and my passions for the day start off here. This morning, I watched a movie called "searching for Bobby Fisher". The film was a delightful piece of work. The themes were loving what you do, practice, patience, and trusting your gut. (just to name a few) I really can't explain how many things I picked up from that film. but I will try to list a couple.
#1. Do what you love.
This has been such a motivating theme in my life. I am actually blessed to have this opportunity. My grandfather, and even my father had to choose what was best due to different circumstances. I on the other hand have the opportunity to place my heart and passion in to what I love. Medicine is a huge part of that. Mostly because I feel called to become a physician, but also because with patience and hard work, I can actually see how much I've not only learned, but have Mastered. That makes me amazingly happy.
#2. Do your best, and don't be a coward.
During the movie, the main character was 7 year old Josh, who was a chess champion. Somewhere he lost his confidence and became a coward. He was number 1 and always won his chess tournaments. But something happened where he became scared to lose a game and therefore scared to lose the approval of his parents. It took him a while, but he finally realized how much winning and losing really meant. It didn't mean much as long as you did your best. So many times in my life, I purposely throw in the towel because I thought I was going to loose. Only to find out that I was actually destined to win. I actually had all that I needed to win. I also learned that those that accept you and don't leave when you are being cowardly, are those that actually love you the most. Amazing.
#3. The role of the pupil is to learn... and focus.
Medicine is my life right now. I completely enjoy it. I go to medical school at Howard, and I used to hate the school. Well, now, the school has actually faded into the background and I really have no comment on the institution except that it has the tools necessary for me to become a fantastic physician. In this period of my life, although I would love to spend the energy on a relationship or something else, God has designed for me to stay focused and learn from him how to heal the human body. Trust.. I've tried over and over and over to include someone in my life on many different occasions and in many different ways. God has not let it be so. I pout and I get angry, then I open my bible, and my books and the information that I struggled with soo much in the past, its like He is teaching me these things himself. WOW! All I have to do is sit, learn and focus. Praise God!!! I can't wait to share what I know. Sharing as in touching a patient's life and healing them.
#4. REST.
The passions that I have take energy. They take a lot of discipline and self-control. They drain me and give me energy at the same time. However, its important to rest and lay it all down. Family has been increasingly important to me these past couple of months. Friends are very nice too, but for some reason my family has taken a serious priority in my life. It is because there I can learn how to be a more loving child, husband, and father all at the same time. ( I'm not interested in dating anymore but more so in courting. That's why I pay extra attention to family life now.) When you rest properly, you are refreshed and ready to embark on a new day with new goals and new perspectives. Josh, stopped playing chess for 2 weeks. He just went fishing with his Dad. Didn't talk about it, didn't even think about it. When he came back, he was fully re-charged and ready to think in a whole new manner. Sometimes we need to let our minds rest. Go back to your roots. Visit with family and friends and don't think about anything that stressed you out. When you come back, you are a totally different person. :)
#5. Confidence
Before I was in medical school, or a future physician, I dreamed about it and thought it in my head. At first I didn't want to be... but God called me to it.. so now me and him are having a blast tackling it. Later in life I will write books, and small screen plays... I see it in my future... so I practice it. And God and I are having a great time showing me lessons, and I do the best I can to write down the themes. Someday soon, I will be with the woman i love... so God and I are having a good 'ol time removing garbage, things, and certain situations out of my life so that I can love her amazingly. What does this have to do with confidence?? Well, confidence comes from preparation. Nobody is confident in anything that they haven't trained for or practiced. When one understands that training is just as exciting as competing, confidence grows and takes its roots in a deep portion of your mind and nothing will be able to up-root it. When you are ready.. you are just ready.
lol.. so much more in my head.... but this will do for now.
5am-8am.
#1. Do what you love.
This has been such a motivating theme in my life. I am actually blessed to have this opportunity. My grandfather, and even my father had to choose what was best due to different circumstances. I on the other hand have the opportunity to place my heart and passion in to what I love. Medicine is a huge part of that. Mostly because I feel called to become a physician, but also because with patience and hard work, I can actually see how much I've not only learned, but have Mastered. That makes me amazingly happy.
#2. Do your best, and don't be a coward.
During the movie, the main character was 7 year old Josh, who was a chess champion. Somewhere he lost his confidence and became a coward. He was number 1 and always won his chess tournaments. But something happened where he became scared to lose a game and therefore scared to lose the approval of his parents. It took him a while, but he finally realized how much winning and losing really meant. It didn't mean much as long as you did your best. So many times in my life, I purposely throw in the towel because I thought I was going to loose. Only to find out that I was actually destined to win. I actually had all that I needed to win. I also learned that those that accept you and don't leave when you are being cowardly, are those that actually love you the most. Amazing.
#3. The role of the pupil is to learn... and focus.
Medicine is my life right now. I completely enjoy it. I go to medical school at Howard, and I used to hate the school. Well, now, the school has actually faded into the background and I really have no comment on the institution except that it has the tools necessary for me to become a fantastic physician. In this period of my life, although I would love to spend the energy on a relationship or something else, God has designed for me to stay focused and learn from him how to heal the human body. Trust.. I've tried over and over and over to include someone in my life on many different occasions and in many different ways. God has not let it be so. I pout and I get angry, then I open my bible, and my books and the information that I struggled with soo much in the past, its like He is teaching me these things himself. WOW! All I have to do is sit, learn and focus. Praise God!!! I can't wait to share what I know. Sharing as in touching a patient's life and healing them.
#4. REST.
The passions that I have take energy. They take a lot of discipline and self-control. They drain me and give me energy at the same time. However, its important to rest and lay it all down. Family has been increasingly important to me these past couple of months. Friends are very nice too, but for some reason my family has taken a serious priority in my life. It is because there I can learn how to be a more loving child, husband, and father all at the same time. ( I'm not interested in dating anymore but more so in courting. That's why I pay extra attention to family life now.) When you rest properly, you are refreshed and ready to embark on a new day with new goals and new perspectives. Josh, stopped playing chess for 2 weeks. He just went fishing with his Dad. Didn't talk about it, didn't even think about it. When he came back, he was fully re-charged and ready to think in a whole new manner. Sometimes we need to let our minds rest. Go back to your roots. Visit with family and friends and don't think about anything that stressed you out. When you come back, you are a totally different person. :)
#5. Confidence
Before I was in medical school, or a future physician, I dreamed about it and thought it in my head. At first I didn't want to be... but God called me to it.. so now me and him are having a blast tackling it. Later in life I will write books, and small screen plays... I see it in my future... so I practice it. And God and I are having a great time showing me lessons, and I do the best I can to write down the themes. Someday soon, I will be with the woman i love... so God and I are having a good 'ol time removing garbage, things, and certain situations out of my life so that I can love her amazingly. What does this have to do with confidence?? Well, confidence comes from preparation. Nobody is confident in anything that they haven't trained for or practiced. When one understands that training is just as exciting as competing, confidence grows and takes its roots in a deep portion of your mind and nothing will be able to up-root it. When you are ready.. you are just ready.
lol.. so much more in my head.... but this will do for now.
5am-8am.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
How much time are you going to waste?
Hey everyone,
And... no one. I know people dont read this blog, because I don't have any followers on here. smh.
Well, today I wanted write about how I feel. I'm actually heart-broken right now. No details, but i miss someone very very much. The problem is, it was my fault and I pushed her away. That back-fired on me so much its terrible. I can't even express how regretful i am of that decision. problem is. I can't do anything about it. It seems that all i do is think about her all day long. I wish she would open up to me. (good luck with that!) lol
Well,
truth is, I've done that to God so many times it isn't funny. I've been running away from him like the prodigal son. Its terrible. I get in this funky mood, and I really show him the boot. I remember a few instances in my life where God clearly was trying to show me love and i totally messed it up. such a dummy i am.
The beautiful thing about God is that he always forgives and though I have to suffer the consequences, he loves me through it. Its so amazing how he does these things. Like he will never give up on me. I love him for that. I really do. Seeing how i learn things the hard way.. I barely, just barely, understand how he feels when he is pushed away.. cause i feel pushed away right now. sigh.
Another thing that I love about God is that he promises me that he has a plan for my life. That's crazy.. cause even though I push him away.. he STILL has a plan. hm..
That's a dude i can worship. And that's somebody i will give my life for. He loves me inspite of my foolishness and he longs to be with me.
A friend asked me "how much time am I going to waste" and I made a serious effort and took some time to follow my heart. Now I realize the Holy Spirit was told him to tell me that for an additional reason.
Jerrick, God Loves you man, TRUST HIM. "How much time are you going to waste?"
And... no one. I know people dont read this blog, because I don't have any followers on here. smh.
Well, today I wanted write about how I feel. I'm actually heart-broken right now. No details, but i miss someone very very much. The problem is, it was my fault and I pushed her away. That back-fired on me so much its terrible. I can't even express how regretful i am of that decision. problem is. I can't do anything about it. It seems that all i do is think about her all day long. I wish she would open up to me. (good luck with that!) lol
Well,
truth is, I've done that to God so many times it isn't funny. I've been running away from him like the prodigal son. Its terrible. I get in this funky mood, and I really show him the boot. I remember a few instances in my life where God clearly was trying to show me love and i totally messed it up. such a dummy i am.
The beautiful thing about God is that he always forgives and though I have to suffer the consequences, he loves me through it. Its so amazing how he does these things. Like he will never give up on me. I love him for that. I really do. Seeing how i learn things the hard way.. I barely, just barely, understand how he feels when he is pushed away.. cause i feel pushed away right now. sigh.
Another thing that I love about God is that he promises me that he has a plan for my life. That's crazy.. cause even though I push him away.. he STILL has a plan. hm..
That's a dude i can worship. And that's somebody i will give my life for. He loves me inspite of my foolishness and he longs to be with me.
A friend asked me "how much time am I going to waste" and I made a serious effort and took some time to follow my heart. Now I realize the Holy Spirit was told him to tell me that for an additional reason.
Jerrick, God Loves you man, TRUST HIM. "How much time are you going to waste?"
Monday, June 14, 2010
My biggest Fear
I've been in Mississippi for the past year working on my Masters degree. It has been a fantastic experience. I've learned a lot more than I anticipated and I am quite pleased with my performance. I am on my way to medical school, (per my acceptance), and I'm actually taking time to wind down and introspectively look at some of the things in my life. I will say, that God has blessed me and He has always provided whatever I needed. I appreciate that about Him. He knows exactly how to comfort and motivate me to be the best Man I can be. With that he also knows how to discipline me.
Two years ago, I was released from Medical School due to poor academic performance. Interesting enough, I just wrote that sentence and I didn't feel any type of hostility, regret, or shame. Many people don't do well first year of medical school and it is nothing to be ashamed of. This is easier said than done however. I can't tell you the level of embarrassment, resentfulness, or anger that I had within me. I've talked about this before in a post titled Transformers, which I wrote in 2008. It was a terrible experience, but God has His plan.
His Plan is to mold me into the Man I am supposed to be. Period. To be the Christian Man that He can use to bring others to him. Forget about the MD/MS/MPH. God needs somebody to represent him humbly and totally.
My biggest fear is this. Have I learned enough? Have I passed the test? Am I still the same person that I was 2 years ago? Am I doing the same things? Am I ready now?
Unfortunately, I must confess, I don't think I'm ready. I don't think I'm able. I don't think I deserve to go back in to medical school. I don't think I deserve to have such an awesome group of friends, or a wonderful girlfriend. I personally feel like trash most of the time cause, I've tried to do better, yet I'm like Paul.
Check out what he has to say in Roman 7.
Romans 7:14-25 (The Message)
14-16I can anticipate the response that is coming: "I know that all God's commands are spiritual, but I'm not. Isn't this also your experience?" Yes. I'm full of myself—after all, I've spent a long time in sin's prison. What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.
17-20But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.
21-23It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.
24I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?
25The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.
So, to be quite honest, I find myself in this same position. All my life I have basically willed anything that I wanted. Yet, with all my strength I still can't will myself to follow Christ. That's Amazing. Think about it.
#1. Christ has died for our sins. We are essentially sinless if we accept Him.
#2. In exchange for giving us Eternal Life he only asks us to Trust, Obey, and Submit to his will.
#3. Yet, as christians. We know this, We understand this and We want to Do This.
#4. But its impossible. (on our own)
Why?
The answer is this. How would heaven be, if we could really make it there on our own will. We would be one HUGE conceded group! In fact, the first minute we get into the pearly gates, we would probably set up hierarchy for those who decided to accept christ at a young age compared to being an old geezer. We would tally all the times we prayed and went to church and prayer meeting, and sabbath school. We would brag about how many people we brought into the fold.. etc. etc. etc..
Catch my drift?
We do that now. In church if you aren't a deacon, you ask yourself? WHY??!! Brother So and So ain't THAT Holy!? Or if you don't get chosen for praise team, or whatever it is. We start getting on our high horse and complaining and what not.
Simply Put, Christ made a way. He made it Easy. Death and Hell has been conquered. Praise God! Yet, at the same time He made it impossible if we trust in ourselves. We MUST trust God to carry out and mold us into who he needs us to be. We MUST submit in ALL things to be ready to represent him. We MUST OBEY his commandments.
Not for our own accord. But because there is no other way.
That's my biggest fear. Am I ready? Will I keep making the same mistakes? Have I submitted?
If my friend Nathan was alive today, I know what he would say.
Just do it Today. Don't let this day pass without Doing it....... Today.
Two years ago, I was released from Medical School due to poor academic performance. Interesting enough, I just wrote that sentence and I didn't feel any type of hostility, regret, or shame. Many people don't do well first year of medical school and it is nothing to be ashamed of. This is easier said than done however. I can't tell you the level of embarrassment, resentfulness, or anger that I had within me. I've talked about this before in a post titled Transformers, which I wrote in 2008. It was a terrible experience, but God has His plan.
His Plan is to mold me into the Man I am supposed to be. Period. To be the Christian Man that He can use to bring others to him. Forget about the MD/MS/MPH. God needs somebody to represent him humbly and totally.
My biggest fear is this. Have I learned enough? Have I passed the test? Am I still the same person that I was 2 years ago? Am I doing the same things? Am I ready now?
Unfortunately, I must confess, I don't think I'm ready. I don't think I'm able. I don't think I deserve to go back in to medical school. I don't think I deserve to have such an awesome group of friends, or a wonderful girlfriend. I personally feel like trash most of the time cause, I've tried to do better, yet I'm like Paul.
Check out what he has to say in Roman 7.
Romans 7:14-25 (The Message)
14-16I can anticipate the response that is coming: "I know that all God's commands are spiritual, but I'm not. Isn't this also your experience?" Yes. I'm full of myself—after all, I've spent a long time in sin's prison. What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.
17-20But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.
21-23It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.
24I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?
25The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.
So, to be quite honest, I find myself in this same position. All my life I have basically willed anything that I wanted. Yet, with all my strength I still can't will myself to follow Christ. That's Amazing. Think about it.
#1. Christ has died for our sins. We are essentially sinless if we accept Him.
#2. In exchange for giving us Eternal Life he only asks us to Trust, Obey, and Submit to his will.
#3. Yet, as christians. We know this, We understand this and We want to Do This.
#4. But its impossible. (on our own)
Why?
The answer is this. How would heaven be, if we could really make it there on our own will. We would be one HUGE conceded group! In fact, the first minute we get into the pearly gates, we would probably set up hierarchy for those who decided to accept christ at a young age compared to being an old geezer. We would tally all the times we prayed and went to church and prayer meeting, and sabbath school. We would brag about how many people we brought into the fold.. etc. etc. etc..
Catch my drift?
We do that now. In church if you aren't a deacon, you ask yourself? WHY??!! Brother So and So ain't THAT Holy!? Or if you don't get chosen for praise team, or whatever it is. We start getting on our high horse and complaining and what not.
Simply Put, Christ made a way. He made it Easy. Death and Hell has been conquered. Praise God! Yet, at the same time He made it impossible if we trust in ourselves. We MUST trust God to carry out and mold us into who he needs us to be. We MUST submit in ALL things to be ready to represent him. We MUST OBEY his commandments.
Not for our own accord. But because there is no other way.
That's my biggest fear. Am I ready? Will I keep making the same mistakes? Have I submitted?
If my friend Nathan was alive today, I know what he would say.
Just do it Today. Don't let this day pass without Doing it....... Today.
